I feel like an overused piece of origami paper. I had insomnia last night. Doesn't feel so good this morning. I've also been in a funk since I ended my temp job earlier this month, and I feel torn.
I'm having a hard time finding a job that pays enough, and that will work with an actor's schedule. I haven't sought a waiting job yet. It's my last resort. With the outdated experience I have, who knows what I'll be able to find. I'm frustrated and trying not to stress about it. Money is one of my chief concerns in life. Having opted for the bohemian life, I'm trying to find a new way to approach it. I'm flexible but obviously not as flexible as I thought. I crave security more than I'd like to admit: the steadiness of a job, the surety of a paycheck. Being out on a limb like this I feel like an open wound. I need a job. We'll see what happens.
As for the torn feeling, I'm dearly missing home right now. It's not a homesick sort of feeling. I don't miss Seattle or Tacoma. I miss my family and friends. I have friends here. Good friends. Friends who love and support me in all I do who I can call on anytime. I just feel like a part of me is missing....I like LA. Don't love it. And I need to follow this dream. It's just a weird place to be, to feel.
I know. This too shall pass. I need to get more sleep. Yikes.
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3 comments:
Hang in there Paige! And please let me know if you need anything. Anything at all.
MATT D
It's a new city and a new life, You're doing the very best you can, and that's all you can do. Everyone has these moments at one time or another, and no, they aren't fun, but it's not forever. And if it gets too overwhelming, well, I just might have to come over and kidnap you for a beach day. :)
xo and BIG HUGS!
Here's a 1000 good mojo watts in your direction! Break a leg and all that. :-D
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