2009: A Year in Review

I keep a log about my daily happenings in my calendar. Today, I decided to go back through my 2009 calendar and take a look at just what occurred this past year. Upon first reflection, I didn't think much of 2009 until I reviewed my activities.

This may not have been a year of monumental accomplishments, but it was most certainly a busy year full of growth and change. I have learned so much this past year, about myself, the entertainment industry, my friends and our relationships, and life in general. Admittedly, I took a more passive approach to this year trying to be a sponge. Financially, emotionally (in relation to my career), and geographically starting over in a new place, I initially felt like I'd regressed to my first year after college where I was interning for free, driving pizza delivery and living with my best guy friend trying to make life fun and interesting. Almost ten years later, I'm in quite a similar place but with a change of city and roommates. Like those early years, though, I felt I needed to watch my surroundings and get my legs underneath me. Finding joy and acceptance in this situation while still maintaining drive and a happy, optimistic disposition can be challenging at times!

That said, I am so thankful for 2009. This past year, I learned how to fail. And I did, several times over. I did it in auditions. I did it in relationships, both with friends and lovers. I learned how to fail and move on, to let go when I needed to let go for the sake of my sanity and well-being. I learned how to persevere and find solace in personal strength. I failed in my classes and as an actor. I was able to do it fearlessly. I learned to live with my fear, and I'm learning still how to push beyond it. I'm learning still to be courageous.

In 2009, I made several student films. They were horrible, but it was an opportunity to get in front of the camera, fumble around, and again and again and again - learn. I became a background artist, aka extra for movies and film. I'm working toward becoming eligible for the screen actors union and watched long-time professional actors work on a set. I learned how different sets work and how different personalities work on set. I learned.

I made several new friends this year, many of whom I'm very thankful for. They've helped to shape my life today. I spent more time with some friends, and less time than I should have with others. I did my best to communicate with those I love, though I could have done it better. Always. I said goodbye to several friends who moved away and am preparing to say goodbye to several more as they take new directions in life. I moved to a better apartment with two good friends, who are in many ways becoming like family.

While a few friends got married or had kids, I've been struggling to find someone I can come home to. Dating is fun, but it's getting old. I'm in no rush though. I have career goals, and a relationship should only accentuate not detract from these. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I'll find someone in the near future.

In 2009, I also worked. I worked very hard. I catered. I temped. I acted as an extra. The work was long, some of it was hard, most of it paid minimally. As someone who rose the ranks of a civic/business career right out of college and never truly struggled, I have a new found respect for people living at the poverty level. As a single person, it's much more expensive to live than a couple. Two jobs are almost necessary to make ends meet. Health insurance is out of the question. I, as an employee of a charitable organization, never truly understood the struggles people face when living at this economic level. I have a new found respect and understanding for those clients and individuals in this situation. I also believe there are ways out if there were more support from the community as a whole. I believe that in the future, when I manage to pull myself out of this situation, this experience will help to shape my charitable activism.

I have many goals for 2010, and I'm ready to hit the ground running. I still have some sponging to do these first few months, and I look forward to my classes resuming in February where I'll have the opportunity to freely fail again. It's a safe place to take chances and risks. I will be looking for an agent this year, and, in the spring, a job most likely waiting tables that will be flexible enough for auditions and be able to cover my bills. As I said earlier, that's always a struggle with this lifestyle, but I chose it and for the life of me wouldn't choose anything else at this moment.

I'm also writing again. We had a brief break over the holidays where the industry shuts down. I hope I can maintain it. Acting is creative but there's something about the creative writing process. Writing is omnipotent. Acting is subjective. I value both, and need both.

I have a very good feeling about this year to come. I can't wait to share it all with you.

All my love,
Stephanie Paige


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Connect creatively at http://www.everydaydifferent.wordpress.com.

Learn something new everyday. Contribute something new everyday. Live anew everyday. Find the beauty in everyday different.

Update on the Go

Hey all. It's been a crazy couple of weeks. The steady job hunt still continues, but I may not have to do it after all. It just depends on how some of my entrepreneurial endeavors work out. What endeavors you say? Well let me tell you!

I've started doing background work (extras) in order to gain onset experience, watch the pros at work, and learn how this "Biz" is put together. It's not hard, just long hours and really low wages. The good thing is I can work almost indefinitely because there's always something out there. I say that now because it's spring and this is pilot season. Let me requalify that statement, there's always something out there during spring. In the past two weeks I've worked on a TV movie that Hallmark is producing for the SciFi channel called Mega Storm, a Toyota commercial, been a party guest on Desperate Housewives (check out episode 521: Bargaining) and on HBO's pilot episode of Hung starring Anne Heche. I was also a featured theatrical statue/artist on CSI NY opening the "Grounds for Deception" episode. Tonight I get to work on the set of Eastwick as a town's person. Background work isn't well-respected in the industry, and it's certainly not where I want to stay but I hope it can help me to build connections and learn a little.

Also! I just became an Independent Associate for Prepaid Legal Services. I'm super excited about it. I think it's a great service and look forward to bringing it to others. Plus, the market's completely open which means that there's real opportunity to grow a strong business where I make my own rules. You guys know me. Being my own boss may be just the thing I need. Once I get my cards and site set up I'll let you know more about it.

Oh, and today I discovered the webcam on my computer. Don't worry, I'm not going to start video blogging. God knows I don't need to fulfill my need for screen time by torturing all of you with off topic rambles and rants. I just thought it was cool. The camera is horrible and really does add ten pounds. Amazing what limitations a lense actually has.

So if I haven't returned your phone calls or emails lately, that's pretty much why. On top of the odd background hours, trying to get my new business going, and job hunting, I have also been catering a little. It was greeting at the Nickelodeon's Kid Choice Awards at the Casa del Mar last week. Beautiful hotel! I can't wait til I make enough to spend an evening in one of their rooms. They start at $1,100 a night! Wow.

Hugs to all. More later. Oh, and check out my new website below. I'm using it to really pull my Twitter, Poetry blog, and professional website all together. The look will probably change in the future, since I found a great template that automatically imports stuff, but I'm pretty happy with how it's working for now.

Take care!
Steph Paige


--
Connect creatively at http://www.everydaydifferent.wordpress.com.

Learn something new everyday. Contribute something new everyday. Live anew everyday. Find the beauty in everyday different.

Like a Fish in Water

Whenever I've had to think, reflect, unload, cool off or destress, I do one of two things: take a walk under the stars and talk to the moon or head to a body of water and just feel it. I'm so thankful to be living in California, and I'm even more thankful that I'm still on the west coast and my friend the Pacific is close by. Pursuing your dreams doesn't mean achieving them, and while it's a nice idea I'm learning it's a lot harder to accomplish than it sounds. After a wonderful hike with friends this weekend, I took a solitary trip to Point Dume and walked the beach until sunset. It may not solve my problems, but it helps refresh my soul and face the ups and downs of the day. I'm so lucky to have this. I hope that each of you have something special that you do to wipe your mental slate clean.


Check it out!
EverydayDifferent.com - My Portfolio Website
POEIN - Literary & Artistic Blog

Update

It's time for a long overdue update.

Following the holidays, I found work with the company for whom I worked this past summer: Lee Hecht Harrison. It was a temporary job to last 2-3 months while they found someone to fit the position permanently and have me train them. Unfortunately for me, it didn't take them too long to find a person. So once again, I'm job hunting.

January was an interesting month. After having been home for Christmas, I was truly confused. I enjoyed being home. I dearly missed my family and friends, and a part of me even missed the wretched weather. At the same time, I feel like LA is it (for now). You know me. I tend to be outgoing, talkative, and at times overbearing. My personality changed, for lack of a better description. I became more contemplative, thoughtful, and certainly less talkative. I was a sponge. I absorbed, spent most of the time by myself, and struggled with how much I hate it here and yet how much I need to be here at the same time.

This is what we call a growing phase. It's painful. You don't recognize it at the time. And you're no fun to be around. Thank god for my patient friends who do happen to stick by me. (Love you guys!)

Anyway, with the end of January, something clicked in my brain and I resigned to my decisions, not figthing, doubting or questioning them. I finally honored my decision to be an actress and pursue the arts. Having been here eight months already, you'd figure that was enough time. Anyway, with the end of my contract job has come opportunity. I'm really committing to acting. I've joined a writers group for actors where I'm in front of people in the business reading original and upcoming scripts. I also have the opportunity to write, but I think I'll listen and learn for a while first. I'm auditioning. This weekend alone I've had two auditions, a filming for a music video, and a staged reading at a local theater. I'm officially an artist. I'm also filming a student film next week, and hope to hear from some other auditions I had earlier last week.

It feels good.

Now the job hunt must truly begin. Unpaid acting work doesn't pay the rent. The 10-plus percent reported unemployment in California includes the entertainment industry. Not much union work is being filmed because SAG is still in contract negotiations and companies don't want to put money into projects that could potentially be shutdown. There's enough of that going around already. It's a wait and see game at the moment. It's an opportunity for me to build my portfolio with the student films and such, but for those who are beyond that stage these are hard times.

I have found some work with a catering company. That starts this month. And I have an interview with an art education company teaching little kids about theater and dance. I'm going to specialize in puppetry and masks so that I carve a niche out for myself. That's on Tuesday, so wish me luck.

On a final note, with this new commitment to the arts has come a renewed sense of purpose. I am the first one to say I hate spending hours on a computer, but they're an evil necessity. I've got some different projects going on, most of which have to do with networking. The list of the following is all of my public blogs. I'm keeping this one private for family and friends. Check them out if you have any interest:

Twitter - A Story a Day in 140 characters
Poein - My Poetry / Arts Appreciation Blog
Facebook - Networking (Search Paige Barnett)
LinkedIn - Networking
Myspace - Networking
PaigeBarnett.com - Up and coming acting website of yours truly (grand opening to be announced)

That's about it for now. I hope you're all well, and I'll keep you posted if I land any work or acting gigs.

Cheers and hugs,
Stephanie Paige

Check it out!
EverydayDifferent.com - My Portfolio Website
POEIN - Literary & Artistic Blog

Belly Laughs

Los Angeles is home to a fabulous silent movie theatre that shows every week a variety of classics and independent films, as well as hosts a number of artistic events. I did NOT go to this theater this weekend.

No. This weekend I went to Los Angeles' beautiful Orpheum Theatre, an early vaudeville theatre in the heart of downtown. The theatre, in collaboration with the Los Angeles Theatre Organ Society, was hosting a fabulous silent film event featuring Harold Lloyd in The Kid Brother, as well as the short, One Week, with Buster Keaton.

Simple, straight forward, and with some of the best physically, choreographed comedic timing seen in years, the audience was bellying laughing the whole night long. What's more, the films were accompanied by live organ music which the organists selected and scored themselves specifically for the films. They were rockstars for the night. The audience literally gave them both a standing ovation, and they were eating it up.

One Week, a Buster Keaton short, opened the evening with rollicking fun about a young man and his bride who receive a home for a wedding present. Unfortunately for them, the house comes in the form of a build-it-yourself kit, and the couple spend the next week trying their darnedest to create a home for their hearts and hineys. All doesn't go as planned in this hilarious little comedy.

Kid Brother was Harold Lloyd's favorite film he produced. It's about a rough and tough family of father and sons who run the town named after them. The youngest, played by Lloyd, is scrawny in comparison and has to use wits versus brawns in order to earn the respect of his father and the girl.

If and when you ever have the opportunity to see a silent film, either at home or on the big screen, I encourage you to take advantage and see it. It will be worth your time.

Check it out!
EverydayDifferent.com - My Portfolio Website
POEIN - Literary & Artistic Blog