The Topography of an Everyday Life

Wandering Paths

2010-06-30T13:43:00.001-07:00

I just reread what I wrote a few months ago. There was so much hope in that post. I don't know what happened, but I diverged from that path somewhere along the way. Actually, I do know what happened. I fell for the guy I was dating, and he was a soulsucking blackhole. Decent enough guy really. Fabulous, truthfully, but he was a taker and I was a giver and I gave too much and lost sight of myself. It's funny how quickly that happens. How cliche I became. Emotions can cloud so much of your judgement, and my personal goals and life became a fog and I got lost in it.

Today is my last day of work. So it seems somehow appropriate that I update my post. Working for this Union Station Homeless Services has been eye-opening. I'm good at what I do. It's nice to know that. But, I also know that what I'm doing right now doesn't make me happy. I'm working for other people, living according to their expectations and schedules on their terms. And I'm SITTING all day long. I'm not a sitter and I don't want to work in front of a computer anymore. I'm done with spreadsheets and call lists and mail merges and an eight-hour relationship with my computer.

I want to work in an environment where I move about, where I interact with people, and have new and interesting stories to take home with me, not the office gossip acquired at the watercooler. Stories that will build in my mental archive. Stories I'll be able to share with others and incorporate into my own writing. I'm kind of obtuse on the idea front. Somewhere along the way I lost some of my imagination and became a pragmatist. But take someone else's experiences or adventures, and I can turn and twist it into something completely new and different. I have a knack for accenting and improving other people's writing, comedy bits (I play off others well), whatever, you name it. While it's annoying, it's also a gift, and I need to figure out how to use that gift to my advantage.

Driving home yesterday, I was so thankful to be where I am. Yes, I'm single again. Yes, as of tomorrow I'll have no job. Yes, I'm still neck deep in debt. Yes, I have to live with roommates at my age. And still I'm thankful. The base of these foothills are gorgeous and green and welcoming. The hikes are plentiful. My friends are dear. And the sun shines here, it shines and I get to see it everyday. And so I was listening to the "Oldies" station which isn't really an oldies station anymore, and I passed my favorite car on the planet: a 1939 Chevrolet truck 3100 series with whitewalled tires and woodslat running boards. It was royal blue and had hurricane windows, a symbol of automobile perfection. And suddenly, three possible articles came to mind. I could see them in my mind, how they'd start and to whom I could submit them. And I realized I can make this work. I can be an actor AND a writer AND an entrepreneur. This is going to work. I don't think I'll be in Los Angeles for many more years, but I'm here until I believe in myself enough to stand on two feet. Until I learn not to invest myself so deeply in someone else that I forget about myself. Until I know that I deserve better than being told I'm loved and allowing that person to get away with not acting on it (daily, hourly, every living second).

This weekend I may go to Mammoth Lakes or Sedona or just stay home and go to the beach. I'm not sure yet, but I'm feeling more hopeful now than I have since February just after writing that post. It hasn't been the greatest couple of months, but I wouldn't return the learning experiences for naive peacefulness. Somethings you just have to find out for yourself. Too bad we can't all be born wise. The nice thing about these past few months is whereas before I might have shied away from risk taking because the possibility of being hurt was too great, now I can say that I'd prefer to embrace the risk because even the hurt comes to an end.

Now, if I can just get ridiculously lucky and have someone pay me $5,000 a day!

-- Connect creatively at http://www.everydaydifferent.wordpress.com.Learn something new everyday. Contribute something new everyday. Live anew everyday. Find the beauty in everyday different.

And the Saints Go Marching On: New Paths & Adventures

2010-02-11T18:07:00.000-08:00

Music permeates my brain lately. I've been listening on Pandora, KCRW's Morning Becomes Eclectic, MySpace, Youtube, whatever I can find. I have a need to sing. Driving in my car, I randomly hum trying to challenge my piss-poor vocal chords to do more than they are capable of. I'm in a place: Los Angeles in Spring in a temporary state of being that is my life and it needs a soundtrack. This morning there was snow on the foothills in Pasadena, while the rain-cleaned foliage radiated their verdant colors along the highway and local streets. New little squirrels are out galavanting around. It's time to start anew.

I have a new job. I am working for this fabulous organization, Union Station Homeless Services, as their interim volunteer coordinator. Part of me is wholly disappointed at the fact that I'm back in an office job. But I have to face it, I need it right now. And, there are other things I can be doing to forward my career so that when I leave, I'm in a better financial position, mental position, and prepared position career-wise. I'll be working 9-5 for the next few months, but I'll be paying off debt that so quickly accumulates in this city. I can get back into a workout and meditation routine. I'll have time to write, and on the weekends, with my friends, I can produce shorts to use toward my reel. I really need a reel. I won't be in the office for long.

I'm in a new relationship. We're taking it slow. He may not even be around very long, since he's from the Midwest and entertaining some job offers back home. I am happy, yet scared to get too invested just yet. Besides, I have plans and the Midwest is not listed anywhere in them. Oy.

I've seen faces new to me. The other day I was at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art. It's free after five. In line ahead of me was this cute little woman who was trying so hard to dress in the stereotypical Diane Keaton style. Then she turned around. It was Diane Keaton, and looking quite like herself, she was fabulous. She was with a friend, and I was with a date. We ended up at the same museum building getting stuck in an elevator for a little while. We exchanged elevator chitchat. She was very nice, and I couldn't help thinking. You are an acting god. I took it as a sign from heavens that I was meant to do this. I know that's a weird digression, however, I've been wondering how to make this all work and if I had the passion to continue in film or pursue hosting and more commercial endeavors. The latter are fun and pay the bills in this business, but film is the heart and soul for me. Couple seeing Diane Keaton with the fact that even though I live in Los Angeles and work quite often as background on major sets, I NEVER see nor interact with celebrities. For the most part, who wants to? They're just like everybody else, and because of their celebrity often lack key social skills that make you human. Diane Keaton was definitely human, and a little dose of the "go get 'em tiger" that I needed.

I've been cast in a webisode series that is certain to do well. It's again associated with the gaming and fantasy community which is one of the better educated more interested demographics in film and television. In other words, they have money and are willing to spend it. I love this script, which is written by my friend Matt Vancil. He's amazing and definitely going places. He's also given us actors a gem of a script that gives you so much to work with. That said, my part this season is tiny. And that's okay. I LOVE this character, and knowing, having absolute faith that this webisode series will be able to support itself, I have confidence that my character will be coming back in the many seasons to follow. And I can't wait!

So this weekend, I may make a made dash for the hills. Yay camping! But I also need a new haircut and color. Recommendations? I need a car wash, a brake job, and a wardrobe update. The hills sound perfect, don't you think? Maybe I'll watch the Sound of Music to get me started. Nothing like a little Edelweiss. Hmmm, nice tune, I'll keep that one for a while.

--
Connect creatively at http://www.everydaydifferent.wordpress.com.

Learn something new everyday. Contribute something new everyday. Live anew everyday. Find the beauty in everyday different.

2009: A Year in Review

2010-01-01T23:45:00.000-08:00

I keep a log about my daily happenings in my calendar. Today, I decided to go back through my 2009 calendar and take a look at just what occurred this past year. Upon first reflection, I didn't think much of 2009 until I reviewed my activities.

This may not have been a year of monumental accomplishments, but it was most certainly a busy year full of growth and change. I have learned so much this past year, about myself, the entertainment industry, my friends and our relationships, and life in general. Admittedly, I took a more passive approach to this year trying to be a sponge. Financially, emotionally (in relation to my career), and geographically starting over in a new place, I initially felt like I'd regressed to my first year after college where I was interning for free, driving pizza delivery and living with my best guy friend trying to make life fun and interesting. Almost ten years later, I'm in quite a similar place but with a change of city and roommates. Like those early years, though, I felt I needed to watch my surroundings and get my legs underneath me. Finding joy and acceptance in this situation while still maintaining drive and a happy, optimistic disposition can be challenging at times!

That said, I am so thankful for 2009. This past year, I learned how to fail. And I did, several times over. I did it in auditions. I did it in relationships, both with friends and lovers. I learned how to fail and move on, to let go when I needed to let go for the sake of my sanity and well-being. I learned how to persevere and find solace in personal strength. I failed in my classes and as an actor. I was able to do it fearlessly. I learned to live with my fear, and I'm learning still how to push beyond it. I'm learning still to be courageous.

In 2009, I made several student films. They were horrible, but it was an opportunity to get in front of the camera, fumble around, and again and again and again - learn. I became a background artist, aka extra for movies and film. I'm working toward becoming eligible for the screen actors union and watched long-time professional actors work on a set. I learned how different sets work and how different personalities work on set. I learned.

I made several new friends this year, many of whom I'm very thankful for. They've helped to shape my life today. I spent more time with some friends, and less time than I should have with others. I did my best to communicate with those I love, though I could have done it better. Always. I said goodbye to several friends who moved away and am preparing to say goodbye to several more as they take new directions in life. I moved to a better apartment with two good friends, who are in many ways becoming like family.

While a few friends got married or had kids, I've been struggling to find someone I can come home to. Dating is fun, but it's getting old. I'm in no rush though. I have career goals, and a relationship should only accentuate not detract from these. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I'll find someone in the near future.

In 2009, I also worked. I worked very hard. I catered. I temped. I acted as an extra. The work was long, some of it was hard, most of it paid minimally. As someone who rose the ranks of a civic/business career right out of college and never truly struggled, I have a new found respect for people living at the poverty level. As a single person, it's much more expensive to live than a couple. Two jobs are almost necessary to make ends meet. Health insurance is out of the question. I, as an employee of a charitable organization, never truly understood the struggles people face when living at this economic level. I have a new found respect and understanding for those clients and individuals in this situation. I also believe there are ways out if there were more support from the community as a whole. I believe that in the future, when I manage to pull myself out of this situation, this experience will help to shape my charitable activism.

I have many goals for 2010, and I'm ready to hit the ground running. I still have some sponging to do these first few months, and I look forward to my classes resuming in February where I'll have the opportunity to freely fail again. It's a safe place to take chances and risks. I will be looking for an agent this year, and, in the spring, a job most likely waiting tables that will be flexible enough for auditions and be able to cover my bills. As I said earlier, that's always a struggle with this lifestyle, but I chose it and for the life of me wouldn't choose anything else at this moment.

I'm also writing again. We had a brief break over the holidays where the industry shuts down. I hope I can maintain it. Acting is creative but there's something about the creative writing process. Writing is omnipotent. Acting is subjective. I value both, and need both.

I have a very good feeling about this year to come. I can't wait to share it all with you.

All my love,
Stephanie Paige

--
Connect creatively at http://www.everydaydifferent.wordpress.com.

Learn something new everyday. Contribute something new everyday. Live anew everyday. Find the beauty in everyday different.

Update on the Go

2009-03-31T16:30:00.000-07:00

Hey all. It's been a crazy couple of weeks. The steady job hunt still continues, but I may not have to do it after all. It just depends on how some of my entrepreneurial endeavors work out. What endeavors you say? Well let me tell you!

I've started doing background work (extras) in order to gain onset experience, watch the pros at work, and learn how this "Biz" is put together. It's not hard, just long hours and really low wages. The good thing is I can work almost indefinitely because there's always something out there. I say that now because it's spring and this is pilot season. Let me requalify that statement, there's always something out there during spring. In the past two weeks I've worked on a TV movie that Hallmark is producing for the SciFi channel called Mega Storm, a Toyota commercial, been a party guest on Desperate Housewives (check out episode 521: Bargaining) and on HBO's pilot episode of Hung starring Anne Heche. I was also a featured theatrical statue/artist on CSI NY opening the "Grounds for Deception" episode. Tonight I get to work on the set of Eastwick as a town's person. Background work isn't well-respected in the industry, and it's certainly not where I want to stay but I hope it can help me to build connections and learn a little.

Also! I just became an Independent Associate for Prepaid Legal Services. I'm super excited about it. I think it's a great service and look forward to bringing it to others. Plus, the market's completely open which means that there's real opportunity to grow a strong business where I make my own rules. You guys know me. Being my own boss may be just the thing I need. Once I get my cards and site set up I'll let you know more about it.

Oh, and today I discovered the webcam on my computer. Don't worry, I'm not going to start video blogging. God knows I don't need to fulfill my need for screen time by torturing all of you with off topic rambles and rants. I just thought it was cool. The camera is horrible and really does add ten pounds. Amazing what limitations a lense actually has.

So if I haven't returned your phone calls or emails lately, that's pretty much why. On top of the odd background hours, trying to get my new business going, and job hunting, I have also been catering a little. It was greeting at the Nickelodeon's Kid Choice Awards at the Casa del Mar last week. Beautiful hotel! I can't wait til I make enough to spend an evening in one of their rooms. They start at $1,100 a night! Wow.

Hugs to all. More later. Oh, and check out my new website below. I'm using it to really pull my Twitter, Poetry blog, and professional website all together. The look will probably change in the future, since I found a great template that automatically imports stuff, but I'm pretty happy with how it's working for now.

Take care!
Steph Paige

--
Connect creatively at http://www.everydaydifferent.wordpress.com.

Learn something new everyday. Contribute something new everyday. Live anew everyday. Find the beauty in everyday different.

Like a Fish in Water

2009-03-15T23:01:00.000-07:00

Whenever I've had to think, reflect, unload, cool off or destress, I do one of two things: take a walk under the stars and talk to the moon or head to a body of water and just feel it. I'm so thankful to be living in California, and I'm even more thankful that I'm still on the west coast and my friend the Pacific is close by. Pursuing your dreams doesn't mean achieving them, and while it's a nice idea I'm learning it's a lot harder to accomplish than it sounds. After a wonderful hike with friends this weekend, I took a solitary trip to Point Dume and walked the beach until sunset. It may not solve my problems, but it helps refresh my soul and face the ups and downs of the day. I'm so lucky to have this. I hope that each of you have something special that you do to wipe your mental slate clean.

Check it out!
EverydayDifferent.com - My Portfolio Website
POEIN - Literary & Artistic Blog

Update

2009-03-01T20:32:00.000-08:00

It's time for a long overdue update.

Following the holidays, I found work with the company for whom I worked this past summer: Lee Hecht Harrison. It was a temporary job to last 2-3 months while they found someone to fit the position permanently and have me train them. Unfortunately for me, it didn't take them too long to find a person. So once again, I'm job hunting.

January was an interesting month. After having been home for Christmas, I was truly confused. I enjoyed being home. I dearly missed my family and friends, and a part of me even missed the wretched weather. At the same time, I feel like LA is it (for now). You know me. I tend to be outgoing, talkative, and at times overbearing. My personality changed, for lack of a better description. I became more contemplative, thoughtful, and certainly less talkative. I was a sponge. I absorbed, spent most of the time by myself, and struggled with how much I hate it here and yet how much I need to be here at the same time.

This is what we call a growing phase. It's painful. You don't recognize it at the time. And you're no fun to be around. Thank god for my patient friends who do happen to stick by me. (Love you guys!)

Anyway, with the end of January, something clicked in my brain and I resigned to my decisions, not figthing, doubting or questioning them. I finally honored my decision to be an actress and pursue the arts. Having been here eight months already, you'd figure that was enough time. Anyway, with the end of my contract job has come opportunity. I'm really committing to acting. I've joined a writers group for actors where I'm in front of people in the business reading original and upcoming scripts. I also have the opportunity to write, but I think I'll listen and learn for a while first. I'm auditioning. This weekend alone I've had two auditions, a filming for a music video, and a staged reading at a local theater. I'm officially an artist. I'm also filming a student film next week, and hope to hear from some other auditions I had earlier last week.

It feels good.

Now the job hunt must truly begin. Unpaid acting work doesn't pay the rent. The 10-plus percent reported unemployment in California includes the entertainment industry. Not much union work is being filmed because SAG is still in contract negotiations and companies don't want to put money into projects that could potentially be shutdown. There's enough of that going around already. It's a wait and see game at the moment. It's an opportunity for me to build my portfolio with the student films and such, but for those who are beyond that stage these are hard times.

I have found some work with a catering company. That starts this month. And I have an interview with an art education company teaching little kids about theater and dance. I'm going to specialize in puppetry and masks so that I carve a niche out for myself. That's on Tuesday, so wish me luck.

On a final note, with this new commitment to the arts has come a renewed sense of purpose. I am the first one to say I hate spending hours on a computer, but they're an evil necessity. I've got some different projects going on, most of which have to do with networking. The list of the following is all of my public blogs. I'm keeping this one private for family and friends. Check them out if you have any interest:

Twitter - A Story a Day in 140 characters
Poein - My Poetry / Arts Appreciation Blog
Facebook - Networking (Search Paige Barnett)
LinkedIn - Networking
Myspace - Networking
PaigeBarnett.com - Up and coming acting website of yours truly (grand opening to be announced)

That's about it for now. I hope you're all well, and I'll keep you posted if I land any work or acting gigs.

Cheers and hugs,
Stephanie Paige

Check it out!
EverydayDifferent.com - My Portfolio Website
POEIN - Literary & Artistic Blog

Belly Laughs

2009-01-18T12:31:00.000-08:00

Los Angeles is home to a fabulous silent movie theatre that shows every week a variety of classics and independent films, as well as hosts a number of artistic events. I did NOT go to this theater this weekend.

No. This weekend I went to Los Angeles' beautiful Orpheum Theatre, an early vaudeville theatre in the heart of downtown. The theatre, in collaboration with the Los Angeles Theatre Organ Society, was hosting a fabulous silent film event featuring Harold Lloyd in The Kid Brother, as well as the short, One Week, with Buster Keaton.

Simple, straight forward, and with some of the best physically, choreographed comedic timing seen in years, the audience was bellying laughing the whole night long. What's more, the films were accompanied by live organ music which the organists selected and scored themselves specifically for the films. They were rockstars for the night. The audience literally gave them both a standing ovation, and they were eating it up.

One Week, a Buster Keaton short, opened the evening with rollicking fun about a young man and his bride who receive a home for a wedding present. Unfortunately for them, the house comes in the form of a build-it-yourself kit, and the couple spend the next week trying their darnedest to create a home for their hearts and hineys. All doesn't go as planned in this hilarious little comedy.

Kid Brother was Harold Lloyd's favorite film he produced. It's about a rough and tough family of father and sons who run the town named after them. The youngest, played by Lloyd, is scrawny in comparison and has to use wits versus brawns in order to earn the respect of his father and the girl.

If and when you ever have the opportunity to see a silent film, either at home or on the big screen, I encourage you to take advantage and see it. It will be worth your time.

Check it out!
EverydayDifferent.com - My Portfolio Website
POEIN - Literary & Artistic Blog

Second Star Sighting

2009-01-17T17:23:00.000-08:00

Today it was Jennifer Love Hewitt in Studio City. I was at the best Gelato place in the neighborhood brainstorming story ideas. It was a beautiful afternoon.

Secondary Thoughts
While I love that it's nice, I wish it would rain. This is supposed to be the rainy season and it's been hot and dry all month. Not a cloud is in sight. The government is talking about water rationing starting next month and looking forward to a serious drought season come summer. This also likely means a serious fire season, too.

I learned the other day that Disney regularly cleans its entire park by hosing it down with voluminous amounts of water. The people who do this are officially called Hosers. Hehe, hosers. Anyway, the park has cut back from doing it nightly to a couple times a week. Still.

Hollywood might tout that LA is an eco-friendly city, but that's a big fat lie. This is one of the dirtiest places I've ever been, and most of it is self-inflicted. Keep a window open for a day and dust will cover the inside of your windowsill. Leave it open for a week, and soon you'll see shades of brown-gray lining your walls where fans are directed and the ceiling will have pale white circles above the ceiling fans which are lined heavily with a sticky dust. I might as well be a smoker living here since the damage is being done daily. Just wish I could stand the smell. It's probably for the better that I don't anyway.

Tertiary Thoughts
The inauguration is just around the corner! Where are you going to be on this historic occasion? I have yet to figure that one out. Update to come.

Check it out!
EverydayDifferent.com - My Portfolio Website
POEIN - Literary & Artistic Blog

Small Update

2009-01-14T12:13:00.000-08:00

I'm on the job hunt again. After my layoff right before Christmas, I came home for a nice, long family and friend-filled respite. The visit made me realize many, many things, including that I have two feet firmly in my thirties, that I want to live in a CITY in a downtown thriving with life and the vitality of its inhabitants, that my direction is changing and it's not a bad thing, that I need to set new goals and I'm looking forward to it. But things aren't changing at lightning speed and I still need to pay my bills.

One opportunity I was pursuing over the holidays was a position with Book Soup, a renowned bookstore on Sunset Boulevard. I love the store and they seem to like me. Steps were being taken to hire me when, most unfortunately, the owner, Glenn Goldman, respected businessman, book lover, and activist in his own right, passed away from cancer. The world has somehow taken care though, and for the next couple months I have a temporary position with Lee Hecht Harrison, the company I worked for briefly this summer.

So, I'm not out on the streets yet and have a couple more months of cushion. That said, if you hear of anything that would be flexible for an actor, you think I might like, or has anything to do with books - other than balancing them - please do let me know.

Thanks from sunny, breezy, 80 degree Los Angeles!

Check it out!
EverydayDifferent.com - My Portfolio Website
POEIN - Literary & Artistic Blog

Moments When the Gods Must Laugh at Us

2009-01-14T11:49:00.000-08:00

There are moments that catch you completely off-guard. Like the moments at the end of the day when you just want to share a funny story, a joke you heard, a horrible experience, or the fact that you're just fine. And the person you want to share it with is so naturally someone you love and have loved, emotionally, spiritually, and sometimes physically. And then you realize that, for whatever reason, that person is no longer "available" and a part of your life. Then you lose your breath and you ache with shock at the reality and the empty space left behind. And the wounds that you thought were healing seem fresh and raw. But the tears don't come like they used to and that steel rod that holds you up lifts you a little higher. Sometimes when you're caught off-guard like this you smile a little at the thought of that other person. Sometimes you remember to breathe. And always you love them and know that somehow you'll be just fine. But the ache is always there, however deep and scarred and healed it may be.

Check it out!
EverydayDifferent.com - My Portfolio Website
POEIN - Literary & Artistic Blog

Northwest Flooding

2009-01-09T15:08:00.000-08:00

Many of you may not know this, but much of the western Pacific Northwest is currently being inundated with floods from major rains and excessive snowmelt. It's also causing enormous mudslides around the region. Here is a photo from the Seattle Times of the Puyallup River. This area is home to heavy industrial companies in the Tacoma tideflats. I-5 crosses this river and the town of Fife, which is prone to flooding anyway, is nearby:

For everyone who has friends and family and even for the people we don't know who are in the area, you're in our thoughts and prayers. We hope that everyone affected by these events are all safe and warm and dry. Let's too hope that the beautiful Puget Sound, which we so adore, is not heavily contaminated as a result.

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EverydayDifferent.com - My Portfolio Website
POEIN - Literary & Artistic Blog

Kate Micucci

2008-12-17T19:01:00.000-08:00

I went to this fabulous one-woman show at the Steve Allen Theater on Monday night. It involved a woman, her ukelele, a guitar, piano, crudely made puppets on sticks, and lots of stories, songs, and a confused set of carolers. Kate Micucci is not only talented and adorable, she's hilarious in a very smart and cute way. I give her two thumbs, hands and my extra phalanges up. Some of her videos, those of just herself and with her band, Garfunkel and Oates, are posted below for your viewing pleasure:

Dear Deer by Kate Micucci

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EOUEjiE6-Hk)

Present Face by Garfunkel and Oates

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFFgbbUt1jY)

Worst Song Medley by Garfunkel and Oates

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cegC5vS4DuA)

Check it out!
EverydayDifferent.com - My Portfolio Website
POEIN - Literary & Artistic Blog

The Subconscious Mind

2008-12-17T12:17:00.000-08:00

During the rehearsal process and performances for my show, I didn't have time for anything other than eating, sleeping, working and dancing. However, I did spend a good amount of time thinking about writing. Now I have plenty of time, though most of it so far has been catching up on laundry, grocery shopping, etc....but I digress.

As I implied earlier, I've been wanting to do more writing and now I have the time. I have decided what direction I want to take with most of my poetry, and I'm still trying to hash out short stories and novel ideas. Get it? Novel ideas? Haha. Alright, it wasn't funny. Anyway, the past few nights I've been having amazing dreams, and I do mean amazing. They're the full color adventurous kind where you feel more like you're watching TV than participating. At times, I'll even catch myself thinking "Wow, that's so cool!" Well these past few nights, I've also been thinking "Wow, these would make great children's stories." And so, I've made it a point to remember what I've been dreaming.

Usually, and most people can do this, when you tell yourself you're going to remember a dream, you do. I did this with these dreams.....and nothing. Nothing! I wake up expecting to be able to write down my adventures and the moment I open my eyes and allow the conscious mind to take over they disappear. I've even gone so far as putting a writing tablet and pencil in my hand and going back to sleep at least halfway. Then I try to waken ever so slowly and write down whatever I remember. Well, it hasn't worked. These dreams just don't want to be remembered. I can vaguely recall that they're adventure stories taking place on the beach, in the desert, and in a space station of sorts. I also know that all of the characters are animals acting the way humans would but as animals. I remember laughing and being scared and feeling elated when we escaped the bad guys. There's a jeep in there somewhere, banana trees and a lion. But the rest of it, for all I tried, is a vague, hazy subconscious echo that's not ready to be hatched.

Has any other writer out there who's reading this, experienced this phenomenon? What weird twisted version of writer's block is this?

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EverydayDifferent.com - My Portfolio Website
POEIN - Literary & Artistic Blog

Now the Joke's on Me

2008-12-10T10:23:00.000-08:00

Lost my job today. I'm officially part of our economic downturn statistics. Go team!

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EverydayDifferent.com - My Portfolio Website
POEIN - Literary & Artistic Blog

The Joke's on Us

2008-12-03T12:38:00.000-08:00

The children's store I work at, Storyopolis, recently moved from another location. As a part of the move, they not only changed their address, but their phone number, too. Looks like the joke is on us.

Apparently, the old number belonged to Pizza Hut. We get several calls a day for pizza orders. Half the time the people don't listen to our answer "Thank you for calling the Gallery @ Storyopolis" and launch into their orders. Mostly I tell them we're a children's bookstore. Some people are embarassed or sheepish and others are obviously in the midst of a sugar low and totally disgruntled. Occasionally, when it's not too busy, I'll goof around with them asking if they would like that with Curious George or Mother Goose, an extra Light in the Attic or a liter of Tea for Ruby. This always stops them in their tracks. I shouldn't do it, but no one has yelled at me yet.

For those of you who haven't visited me at the store, which is most, here are some pictures so you'll be able to visualize what the heck I'm talking about:

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EverydayDifferent.com - My Portfolio Website
POEIN - Literary & Artistic Blog

A Surprise Visit

2008-12-01T20:05:00.000-08:00

My work schedule these days usually has me off the clock on Sundays and Wednesdays. Because of a couple events this week, I had this Monday free. It must have been kismet because the moment my supervisor relayed my schedule to me this weekend, my friend Stephanie Lee called. A good friend and the girlfriend of my longest running best friend, Kristian, she was still "in town" for her Thanksgiving weekend. Slee, as we call her, is a born and raised California girl hailing from Saloma Beach just north of San Diego. With my odd day off and the graciousness of her parents to lend her to me for a day, we met in the middle at Huntington Beach. (Well, Huntington is more toward my end but I had to haggle with Los Angeles traffic so we evened out the deal a bit.) My friend Camille joined our little party and we had a fantastic day at the beach. Proof positive pictures are below. One note: the Huntington Beach Beer Co. has good beer but lame pizza. The toppings are great, but the crust and sauce have no flavor whatsoever making for a pretty bland lunch.

Camille, myself and Slee

Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree....What?
This is the pier, obviously. We were standing back by the fisherman where we watched some guy catch a sandshark, listened to hideous Christmas songs piped outside by the diner at the end -- note said diner's shadow, and spotted a few dolphins and a seal.

Who Knows What They Were Looking For

The Aforementioned Dolphins

Watching the Surfer Boys
I can say that because there were no girls today.

Goofing Around While Watching the Surfer Boys
Even with a quirky face, Camille is totally adorable. Her favorite surfer was this guy in a maroon wet suit who could've been from Dawson's Creek or straight out of an anime film.

....because it's no fair to have a weirdo photo without a good photo.
Something to remember, KRIS!

Appreciating the View

Saying Adios Until New Years

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HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

2008-11-27T00:15:00.000-08:00

Well, it looks like autumn even comes to Los Angeles. Sweet, sweet rain, I never thought I'd miss you so much....

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

I'm thankful for those physically near to me and I'm thankful for those of you near in my heart but physically distant.

I'm thankful for the chance to breath in the morning, the opportunity to make change in my life and others, for the freedom of being who I am and living where I live and how I live.

I'm thankful for my car and my chiropractor and my parents' wonderfully nagging and loving phone calls.

I'm thankful for free will and free speech.

I appreciate my memories and the future to make new ones.

I'm thankful for every spirit who has touched my life and made me who I am today.

I'm thankful for my nutty, yippy dog back at my folks, and the fact that even though we don't talk as often as we should I can always count on my brother and sister no matter what.

I'm grateful to be employed in these times when making ends meet is a challenge for so many in our country and beyond.

I'm thankful for the Outlaw Style Thrance Company and the new show I'm in, for the cozy little Armenian cafe downstairs and George Sr. and his wife Anna who run it.

I'm thankful for the wondeful teachers I've had so far and the incredible experience of following my dreams.

I'm thankful for the frustrations that I experience each and everyday that help me to put things into perspective.

I'm joyful about our presidential elections and while certain intiatives I hoped would pass did not, I am grateful for the education and awareness it has pushed to the forefront.

I'm thankful for our ability to have so much hope in utterly desperate times.

I am thankful for my wonderful, loyal, loving, caring, patient friends, new and old.

I appreciate how much love and stuff I have in my own life and the fact that I have the mental and physical presence to want to help others have it for and unto themselves.

I'm thankful that I finally love myself and am proud of who I've become (despite the often made bad decision).

I'm thankful to know and have known both love and loss. And I'm thankful to know that I have so much more to learn and to see.

I'm thankful, plainly and simply.

Thank you.

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The Elections - Elation and Disappointment

2008-11-06T00:30:00.000-08:00

Voters across the nation have escorted Barack Obama to the enormous doors of the White House. I am both excited and apprehensive about what these next four years might bring. We have a lot of work ahead of us. I hope that the country will maintain this grassroots momentum to make the changes that need to occur in order to pull ourselves out of the multiple crises we've dug ourselves into. The Onion published a hilarious article about what it took to actually elect our first black president of the United States: Nation Finally Shitty Enough to Make Social Progress (http://www.theonion.com/content/news/nation_finally_shitty_enough_to).

On a mixed note, voters in different states across the nation have voiced their opinions and have been heard. One I'm particularly happy about is the public transit initiative that passed in Washington State. Los Angeles has such a lack-luster enthusiasm for conservation and environmental issues in spite of its "liberal" majority. It's so nice to see another major west coast hub transitioning away from its automobile roots.

Related to the "liberal" majority I mentioned, what should have been an "easy" victory was a disappointing failure: the passage of Proposition 8. It was a bad evening for gay Americans across the country, several of my friends included. Arkansas banned adoption by gay couples; Florida made marriage legally heterosexual; Arizona constitutionally defined marriage as a heterosexual relationship. Talking with some of my co-workers today, they explained that they had voted for the proposition based on their religious beliefs and history. I respect their religious beliefs, and how gay marriage may conflict with them. What I do not respect, however, is how likeminded people operating the Prop 8 Campaign used hate-mongering and fear-based tactics to sway voters who may have voted otherwise or not at all. Simultaneously, I am not surprised at the result for two reasons: 1. This was a presidential election year bringing out populations of voters who don't usually vote or do not vote in off years; 2. Barack Obama's candidacy brought more black and Latin American voters to the polls than is typical, and many (not all, many) African-Americans and Hispanics are conservative religiously. While these demographic groups usually vote Democrat/liberal, their religious values have a conservative slant that guides them to vote conservatively on gay and abortion issues.

I've done some research this evening. While there are a plethora of sources available to refute the "history" argument, I liked one letter in particular for its educational value about the evolution of the nature of marriage and the role of gay marriage in history. Originally featured on NPR's Weekend Edition, it is shared here below :

Weekend Edition
December 13 / 14, 2003

On Marriage in "Recorded History"
An Open Letter to Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney

By GARY LEUPP

Dear Governor Romney,
On November 18 the Massachusetts high court ruled that discrimination against gay couples in matters relating to marriage violated the Commonwealth's constitution. You immediately rejected that decision, declaring: "I agree with 3,000 years of recorded history. I disagree with the Supreme Judicial Court of Massachusetts. Marriage is an institution between a man and a woman ... and our constitution and laws should reflect that." Your official website informed the public that you "will support an amendment to the Massachusetts Constitution to make that expressly clear[M]arriage is a special institution that should be reserved for a man and a woman."

So you "agree with history," you say, on this question of gay marriage. As an historian, I don't agree or disagree with "history," which is not a person with an opinion, but merely the record of countless people pursuing their own ends, interacting with one another and their environments through time. (Occasionally they make breakthroughs, producing new things; there's no reason for sentient beings to be stuck on precedent.) "I agree with history" is really a meaningless statement, rather like saying "I agree with time," or "I agree with reality," or "I agree with the way my father and grandfather and my ancestors before them thought about things." What I suppose you're really saying is that you agree with the proposition that heterosexual marriage (of some sort) should be recognized by law, to the specific exclusion of homosexual unions. You deploy in support of that proposition the assertion that this is the way it's always been. Gay marriage, you thus contend, will be a radical departure from our civilized past.

But this is just not true, Governor. You invoke "History" as though it's some source of authority, but you really don't know much about it, do you? "No investigation, no right to speak," I always say, and if you want to talk about homosexual unions in recorded history you should do some study first. First I recommend you read John Boswell's fine book Christianity, Social Tolerance, and Homosexuality (University of Chicago Press, 1980), in which he documents legally recognized homosexual marriage in ancient Rome extending into the Christian period, and his Same-Sex Unions in Premodern Europe (Villard Books, 1994), in which he discusses Church-blessed same-sex unions and even an ancient Christian same-sex nuptial liturgy. Then check out my Male Colors: The Construction of Homosexuality in Tokugawa Japan (University of California Press, 1995) in which I describe the "brotherhood-bonds" between samurai males, involving written contracts and sometimes severe punishments for infidelity, in the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries. Check out the literature on the Azande of the southern Sudan, where for centuries warriors bonded, in all legitimacy, with "boy-wives." Or read Marjorie Topley's study of lesbian marriages in Guangdong, China into the early twentieth century. Check out Yale law professor William Eskridge's The Case for Same-Sex Marriage (1996), and other of this scholar's works, replete with many historical examples.

What the study of world history will really tell you, Governor, is that pretty much any kind of sexual behavior can become institutionalized somewhere, sometime. You know that polygamy remains normal and legal in many nations, as it was among your Mormon forebears in Utah. In Tibet, polyandry has a long history, and modern Chinese law seems powerless to prevent marriages between one women and two or three men. Getting back to same-sex issues, the Sambia of New Guinea have traditionally believed that for an adolescent boy to grow into a man, he absolutely must fellate an adult male and chug the semen down. I'm not making this up; see Gilbert H. Herdt, Guardians of the Flutes (Columbia University Press, 1981). Now you and I would see that as a kind of child abuse, but to the Sambians, it's just common sense. It's been that way for well over 3,000 years of their history. (You might want to ask yourself: does that 3,000 year record make it right?) Some ancient Greek tribes had a similar notion of the necessary reception of semen to make a boy a man, only with them it was an anal-routed process. (See works by Jan Bremmer, for starters, on this practice as an "initiation rite" among various Indo-European peoples.)

Some suggest that there have been two basic traditions of male homosexual behavior on this planet, prior to the evolution of the contemporary egalitarian model: these inter-generational role-specific ones, in both pre-class and more sophisticated societies; and those that involve males who assume a female or transgender identity, who often also have shamanistic roles, such as the berdache of Native American peoples, or the hijra in Hindu society. These are generally available for "straight" men to bed with if they want to. A variation of this tradition is the ancient Mesopotamian male temple-prostitute (the cult of which spread to Israel, as recorded in the Old Testament; see 1 Kings14:24, 22:47, etc.). The idea was, you'd bugger one of these holy prostitutes, mystically unite with the deity thereby, and by your fee for this pleasure opportunity, assist in the maintenance of the temple. I'm not trying to gross you out or anything, Governor, just help you recognize that there may be more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your (somewhat too confident) philosophy of sexual history.

Over the last 3,000 years to which you specifically allude (someone else was telling National Public Radio that the Supreme Justice Court ruling defied 5,000 years, which would make departure from precedent even more serious), there has in fact been no global marriage norm. In some societies, a man and woman, of their own free will, formed a relationship, decided to forge a life-long commitment, got the necessary permissions and ceremonial legitimacy, started having sex after that, and maintained a monogamous union thereafter until one died. That's been very unusual, though. Arranged marriages involving varying degrees of input by the couple (usually less by the female) have been more the norm. (Do you realize, Governor, how radically sections of humankind departed from the prior "history" you so validate, when we started insisting on the freedom of young couples to marry without their parent's consent, and to do so based on "love"---which is another complex and evolving historical category? You might perhaps read Friedrich Engels' still relevant book The Origins of the Family, Private Property, and the State, and learn something about how capitalism and the whole notion of the free market played a positive role here.)

For demographic and economic reasons (rather than articulated moral ones), monogamy has generally been far more widespread than polygamy. But in more societies than not, wealthy, powerful men have enjoyed the polygamous option. That of course goes for the ancient Hebrews, whose example inclined the founders of your church, that of the Latter-Day Saints, to enthusiastically endorse the practice from the church's founding in 1830 up to Wilford Woodruff and his Manifesto in 1890. Then, whether due to a divine revelation, or to a desire to get Utah admitted to the Union (it's not for me to judge) LDS up and banned polygamy. Although, of course, some rogue elements continue the practice which mainstream Mormons now consider illicit.

But to agree with three, or five, or twelve thousand years of random past practice would require you, Governor Romney, to oppose the ban that the Commonwealth of Massachusetts has from its inception placed on polygamy. I tell you, though: if you refused to do that, I'd be right there behind you. I'm a tolerant person and I realize that lots of Thai and Nigerian and Saudi guys have multiple wives, and maybe I even sort of lust, Carter-like, in my heart to emulate them. But I'm not a total moral relativist, and as public policy, I think monogamy's the right road, and you should stand firm in its support, never mind the Mormon past, which isn't your fault in any case.

Another thing. Not to get personal, but I've been married to a Japanese woman for 20 years. I'm aware some people have problems with this sort of arrangement; for a long time (from 1905) in California "miscegenation" between whites and "Mongolians" of all types was banned by law. But such laws seem so stupid now, don't they? At the time, such intimacies were depicted as "unnatural" mixes of racial superiors with inferiors bound to mess up the pure white gene pool. Of course the Mormon Church was committed to the view that African-Africans were inferior (and certainly unfit as partners to Mormon whites) way up until 1978, when Spencer Kimball, the 12th Prophet, got his word from the Lord and the policy was revised. Before that, the U.S. Supreme Court had ruled that Virginia state law banning black-white intermarriage could not be enforced; very recently (1998), South Carolina chucked its constitutional clause, dating to 1895, forbidding "marriage of a white person with a Negro or mulatto or a person who should have one-eighth or more Negro blood." Things change if people want them to.

When I got married, the Japanese had a law that the children of Japanese men and foreign women would automatically have Japanese citizenship, but those of foreign men and Japanese women would be denied that status. (The idea was: only Japanese semen makes Japanese kids.) This discriminatory treatment reflected the longstanding patriarchal prejudices of the Japanese legal code. By chance my daughter was born in the year that the law was changed (following protests by Japanese wives of foreigners), to confer Japanese citizenship on all children of Japanese nationals. So by random chance my kids are dual-nationals. That just seems reasonable, right? But there was a time in which those in power in Tokyo recoiled at the idea that a hairy-faced foreign barbarian's offspring would mix equally with the progeny of the Sun Goddess in the Land of the Gods. My point, again, is just that views on these issues aren't historically static, and good decent people can work to change them.

The freedom to link yourself to another, and benefit from whatever range of privileges your political and cultural environment confer on "marriage," should not be arbitrarily confined to males who are attracted to females, and to females attracted to males. Even if that premise had, in fact, as you suggest, prevailed since the dawn of civilization, it would be irrational. If history (with a capital H), has any function at all, it is to induce people, merely through cumulative experience, to get more rational, and thereby alleviate the kinds of suffering they can inflict upon themselves. Recognition of gay marriage is a step towards recognizing reality, and alleviating the oppression homophobic ignorance and hatred inevitably inflict. That's the reasoning behind the Supreme Judicial Court of Massachusetts' ruling.

You, in response, panicking at the prospect of a broader, more inclusive concept of marriage, have proposed as a half-way measure legislation recognizing "civil unions" between same-sex couples. But please, Governor, go to sleep, have a dream, an open-minded divinely inspired dream. Let God Almighty, or whoever, Himself appear to you and say, "I've decided to revise the earlier, 3000-year old institution you've been talking about. For no more shall ye make any distinction among my people as to their sexual preference. I the Lord God am no respecter of persons, but all shall come unto me and all of legal age may be worthy to receive all the blessings of marriage. So, Mitt, assemble the people in the tabernacle which is the Massachusetts State House, on Beacon Street and Park Street in Boston, and speak unto them these words, saying: 'Gay marriage actually has lots of historical precedents. May Massachusetts, cradle of the Revolution, point the way once again in demanding recognition of what is just, fair, reasonable, and civilized.'"

Sincerely,

Gary LeuppHistorian
Gary Leupp is Professor of History at Tufts University, and Adjunct Professor of Comparative Religion. He is the author of Male Colors: The Construction of Homosexuality in Tokugawa, Japan and Interracial Intimacy in Japan: Western Men and Japanese Women, 1543-1900.
He can be reached at: gleupp@granite.tufts.edu

For more on the evolution of marriage, a good place to start is Marriage, a History: From Obedience to Intimacy, or How Love Conquered Marriage by Stephanie Coontz (my former professer at The Evergeen State College).

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A Technicolor Sunday

2008-11-02T13:01:00.000-08:00

It rained this weekend for the first time since I've arrived. A rain in Los Angeles isn't a sprinkle. It consists of a suddenly overcast sky, a quick rumble, a burp of lightning and the release of a small flood. It's beautiful and lasts moments or hours and turns on and off like a child at the light switch. The weather has been this way since Saturday and has finally escorted autumn to center stage. The polluted haze of heat and dust has been washed away and our sepia city is popping with technicolor charm. The air is fresh and crisp and people are walking around in light sweaters and jeans to complement the 65 degree chill.

Thankfully, the rains waited until Halloween was over. Sarah, a friend of mine, flew into town for her favorite holiday and we hit the craziness of West Hollywood. To be honest, while the crowds were larger than I'd seen in Los Angeles yet, L.A. cannot compete with the passion and dedication of the San Francisco Castro District. They throw one crazy party. This street "parade" was relatively mundane, family friendly and widely spread out. The costume of the year was, of course, Sarah Palin with close runners up being Obama, McCain, Bush as the Devil, hippies and go-go dancers, and any female costume with a sexy twist (skirt no lower than the butt cheeks). Our weekend did bring my second "celebrity" siting. This time Sarah and I saw Michelle Trachtenberg at the 101 cafe, a cozy little diner serving breakfast until 3am, hosting some of the entertainment world's screen and musical elite.

In a bit of personal news, I'm currently rehearsing for a holiday dance show that will premier in December. I'm also taking commercial acting classes and landed a commercial agent. The job at the bookstore is going well. I love not working in an office and interacting with the customers all day.

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What Not to Say to a Children's Bookstore Customer

2008-10-08T00:25:00.000-07:00

So a parent comes into the store seeking gender neutral books about activities and sports for her kids. Going through the typical list, I suggest Curious George at the Baseball Game, Spot Goes to the Park, The Berenstein Bears Get Their Kicks, and so on. One of the books I recommed is by David Shannon. He writes and illustrates these wonderful stories about Daniel and Alice. One of his recent books, though, is about neither. So here's how the conversation goes:

"So do you know David Shannon's books, Oh Daniel or Alice the Fairy? If you liked those, you would like Dike on a Buck." (stunned pause)

"Excuse me?!"

(stammering) "Pardon me, Buck on a Dike. I mean Duck on a Bike! You would really like Duck on a Bike. It's about...."

Spoonerisms....typically harmless, in this case lethal. Fortunately I rushed through the explanation of the story's plot and showed the parent a few more books. In the end it worked out okay, but those were a few VERY awkward moments. Oh what will tomorrow bring?

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Celebrity Siting

2008-10-05T23:46:00.000-07:00

I saw my first official celebrity today. Actually this is my second celebrity siting EVER. The first time I ever saw a celebrity I was with my family in Vancouver Canada, and my stepdad, Jack, spotted Leslie Nielsen and said hi to him. He was very gracious.

Anyway, today I went on a fabulous beach outing in Malibu with my friends Mary and Camille. It was high tide, so we didn't get to see the tide pools we were hoping for (bummer). But the weather was fabulous and there weren't many people out because tourist season is over. Thank goodness! Traffic heading out to the beach will be so much better now.

So to get out to the beach with the tide pools you have to climb this hill which then descends down to the beach. On the way up this guy with a baseball hat passed us. He had a pretty cute, yet wet and smelly aussie mix. Being an animal lover, I greeted the dog first and then said hi to the guy. The guy just happened to be Owen Wilson. He obviously didn't want to be recognized. We couldn't even see who it was when we passed because he kept his cap low and head down. It was his voice that gave him away. Mr. Wilson is much better looking in person, and about 5'6". I could be wrong on that though because we were climbing and he was descending.

I think it must be difficult to be a celebrity, all these people who have seen you in vulnerable situations and think they know you. Their space must be invaded all the time. I know some celebrities seek it, but most don't. Besides, acting is like anything else: it's a job. Celebrities are doing just that, their work.

On a different note, I've been painting more lately and writing, too. If you're ever interested, look into my other blog: POEIN. The link is listed below. I'm growing more interested in mixed media and improving my painting skills which are very basic right now. Like any art, it's difficult to make a living as a painter or poet. Maybe these will end up being hobbies in the end, or maybe I'll strike gold. Who knows. I don't think I'd mind being the subject of a celebrity siting....not at all.

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Jobbed!

2008-09-30T23:06:00.000-07:00

It's official, I have employment. Meet Storyopolis, a high end children's bookstore and art gallery. Located on Venture Boulevard in Sherman Oaks (that's in the Valley), it's the perfect blend for me. From edgy, original children's art to limited Dr. Seuss lithographs and an overall focus on well-written and well-illustrated books for kids, I fit right in. Okay, so maybe the kids factor doesn't fit me to a "T" but the bookstore element does. I'm truly enjoying myself. At the moment, I work on the retail end of things helping to build book gift baskets and learn the store's inventory, authors and illustrators. In the future though, I'll be doing more outreach and heavy marketing. What I have to look forward to is exciting to me. I like the challenge of bringing in new customers and accounts and with it the possibility of a raise.

Speaking of raise, I could use one right now. The job doesn't pay nearly enough for me to make ends meet. I have to get a second job this month. But the fact that the store is so closely connected to key players in the entertainment industry is what cinched the deal for me. I'll be handling orders and requests from heads of talent and music agencies, from friends of the stars and from stars themselves. It's a huge networking opportunity for me. In the meantime, I'm going to try to pick up some freelance writing jobs and build my portfolio. If that doesn't work, then barista or waitress will I be.

One other bonus is that because they know this job doesn't pay well, the owners (a cute mom and pop team) give me flexibility to go audition. I've had a handful in the past month but no hits yet. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

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My First Lead in a Film

2008-09-26T00:54:00.000-07:00

I present to you STEVEN'S DEMON, a silent film written and directed by Bill Graner.

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Growing Pains

2008-09-21T14:09:00.000-07:00

I feel like an overused piece of origami paper. I had insomnia last night. Doesn't feel so good this morning. I've also been in a funk since I ended my temp job earlier this month, and I feel torn.

I'm having a hard time finding a job that pays enough, and that will work with an actor's schedule. I haven't sought a waiting job yet. It's my last resort. With the outdated experience I have, who knows what I'll be able to find. I'm frustrated and trying not to stress about it. Money is one of my chief concerns in life. Having opted for the bohemian life, I'm trying to find a new way to approach it. I'm flexible but obviously not as flexible as I thought. I crave security more than I'd like to admit: the steadiness of a job, the surety of a paycheck. Being out on a limb like this I feel like an open wound. I need a job. We'll see what happens.

As for the torn feeling, I'm dearly missing home right now. It's not a homesick sort of feeling. I don't miss Seattle or Tacoma. I miss my family and friends. I have friends here. Good friends. Friends who love and support me in all I do who I can call on anytime. I just feel like a part of me is missing....I like LA. Don't love it. And I need to follow this dream. It's just a weird place to be, to feel.

I know. This too shall pass. I need to get more sleep. Yikes.

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A Long Overdue Post

2008-09-10T10:49:00.000-07:00

I know that I've been remiss in blogging lately. Sorry guys. Here's a quicky update until I take more time to write an appropriate blogpost:

I just wrapped up a six-week temp gig with a great company called Lee Hecht Harrison. The people there were nice and fun to work with. They understood my interest in acting, were super supportive, and gave me flexibility for the few auditions I have had as needed. If only it could have been a permanent arrangement.

After a four-month search process for a communications assistant position with the California Community Foundation, it came down to me and one other candidate. The foundation went with the other candidate and then called me last week to say that the person had fallen through and did I want the job. After much thought I realized that no I didn't want the job. It wouldn't give me much flexibility to do acting. It was in downtown LA which meant horrendous traffic. And having somewhat burned out from my last nonprofit position, which I loved but was relieved to have left, I knew I didn't want that kind of commitment for a while.

I am now gainfully unemployed and looking for a job. I'm also looking for acting jobs. I've submitted for many - many, many - and have heard nothing. Is it possible to be in a slump before you even get started? Who knows, but I have faith something will come up. I just need to hang in there. Admittedly, it would be nice just to get an audition. I'm signing up with some extras agencies down here, so that may lead to something. That said, waiting tables is not beneath me, but it's killer on my back. Hopefully something will turn up sooner or later before the money runs out. I have a couple months at least.

While some of my closer friends know, I should say that I'm officially single after a four-year relationship. Many of you have asked after Patrick; you can follow his NYC shenanigans at http://www.bonckers.blogspot.com/.

I'm getting into the rhythm of LA life. I'll write a few future posts about the cinemas, the canyon roads and the houses on stilts, and the quirky shops that symbolize the LA aesthetic that gives this city it's stereotypes. It's expensive here so I don't go out much. If you all have any ideas for good cheap fun, I'm open to it. It would be good to hear from you, too.

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Small Joys

2008-07-29T12:53:00.001-07:00

In my current temp position, I work in a skyrise building in the nice little community of Woodland Hills. The building is one of three or four in a complex. They are like glass hives surrounded by green rolling hills and rushing water fountains. The patio where people go out to have lunch is relaxing and welcoming, a nice break from the flourescent lights inside.

One of my favorite things about my office building is the elevator. They have two things going for them:

They're extremely fast

They have a highly polished chrome inside.

The first reason is obvious. The second is where the fun occurs. With these reflective walls it's easy to be an elevator voyeur. I catch people watching other people or trying to do their best to ignore the other people standing near them. I can read what they're reading or rate their "I'm not really picking my nose" technique. The best thing about the reflective walls is that because they're not glass, they act more like a mirror in a fun house. When I have the rare occasion to ride alone in the elevator, I like to find all the little defects in the walls making an eye bug out here, or an arm shrink there. It's hilarious. I wish I could take a picture of some of the concoctions I get, but then the camera would ruin the picture.

These elevators are a small, ridiculous joy, but it is a joy and a chance to laugh at myself.

Have a great day, everyone. Hope you'll share with me your own silly small pleasures in life.

xoxo Stephanie Paige

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Officially Initiated

2008-07-29T12:31:00.000-07:00

California had a 5.8 earthquake today that lasted around 30-40 seconds. I was on the 18th story of a highrise building about 55 miles away from the epicenter. Seismic activity was felt as faraway as Las Vegas. We rocked, we rolled, we stood in the doorway or hunched under desks. It was somewhat fun and definitely an adrenaline rush.

I consider this my official initiation to California living.

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Sending Good Karma B-Rad's Way

2008-07-24T23:23:00.000-07:00

Many of you know that I lived with my sister as I transitioned from living with Patrick to moving to Los Angeles. While we may not have liked living together or sharing a room so much when we were in high school, this was an opportunity to reconnect with my sister as an adult. I loved it. During the time that I was there, not only did we rediscover our friendship, we gained two additional roommates, too: Brad, the love of her life, and Cash, the super dog.

Brad, aka B-Rad has a lung disease that hasn't treated him so well in life. For the life of me, I don't know what it's called, but it's serioius enough that he's spending this summer going through a bone marrow transplant. My sister and Brad have found an apartment on Minor and Mercer nearby the medical facility on Lake Union because he's required to live within a 30-minute trip to the hospital, door-to-door.

Urban living is a small compensation for what Brad and Shena are having to go through, but at least it's something. Please, when you can, look at Brad's hospital blog that keeps his progress posted. He could use all the good vibes and well wishes possible. The pictures are pretty neat, too.

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Nightly Cacophony

2008-07-22T23:33:00.000-07:00

Besides the obvious sounds that seem to go with the pulse of a large city, Los Angeles has a natural musical dissonance that erupts when night falls. It begins with the muffled sound of televisions in the late evening as people unwind after work. It's joined by the intermittent padding of flip flops or heels as they come in or go out for evening walks or nights on the town. Glasses clink and cans resonate as too large trash bags are thrown out. Someone has had a baby recently and the newborn cries each evening in the distance. Water drips from the end of the drainpipe to the pavement below, leftovers from thirsty plants. As the sound of local street traffic mutes, the incessant hum of the freeway kicks up cuing the orchestra of insects.

There are three distinct sounds that I can call out. One is from crickets, grasshoppers, or maybe cicadas? Whomever they are they chirp on and on without stopping, carrying the brunt of the harmony, extremely self-assured. The other bugs are more cautious, and a little more discerning than their counterparts. One bug has the sound of a snap, like the crackle of static electricity. Walking through the trees of the park or past those that line the sidewalk, they crackle both before and behind you antagonizing the walker that dares cross their path. The other bug hoots. It's a longing sound, the oboe of the group lending just the right hints of tenor and bass.

Cats meow. Bicycle peddles tinkle as they sweep down the street. The booming of a car radio interrupts from time to time. The sounds float through windows and dance toward the cloudless skies where hints of stars peep through the city's curtain of light. Perhaps such sounds would be oppressive in a city with tall skyscrapers or high hills, but deep within the open valley just north of Los Angeles the music of the night carries with it the hopes and regrets and frustration and fatigue and promise of the people who give it life.

And at moments when I find myself walking down the sidewalk or sitting on the back porch listening to this music, life seems a little less overwhelming and its endless possibilities seem a little more attainable.

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Magnetic Movie

2008-07-20T13:55:00.000-07:00

Magnetic fields are invisible, at least usually. But scientists from NASA's Space Sciences Laboratory have made them visible as "animated photographs," using sound-controlled CGI and 3D compositing. It makes the fields, as explained by the scientists, dance in an absolutely gorgeous movie called Magnetic Movie. You don't want to miss this one, it's guaranteed cool.

Learn more about magnetic fields.

As Promised....

2008-07-18T08:30:00.000-07:00

I've been talking about it for weeks. Finally, here are the pics from Crystal's 30th birthday trip and the Fourth of July.

I was Crystal's birthday present. We spent nearly a week romping around Bellevue, New Castle, and Wild Waves together. It was so much fun. I miss you Crystal!

At the Bellevue Art Museum

Crystal is art

Look at that hair! She's growing it out for Locks of Love.

The beautiful 30-year-old and her man

Me and Pete

Crystal and I went out to my brother's restaurant Friday night where he and I bought her (many) birthday drinks. Haha! This is my brother and I taken on his camera phone. Crystal's hand was pretty steady in spite of her buzz.

And the Fourth of July photos....I spent the entire day with Camille. Breakfast at the beach. Visiting with Mary and Ben. Sunbathing and body surfing all day. Dinner at the beach. Champagne and Asti on the rooftop while listening to the fireworks (the view was blocked by trees). It was absolutely lovely, laidback, no pressure, relaxing, warm, fresh, and full of sand and sea air. Perfect, in other words, pure perfection.

Camille was more on the ball with the photos this day. Hers turned out much better than mine, so go check her blog.

Under the umbrella

Advertising all day long. At one point five planes flew by in a staggered formation so people could read five advertisements in quick succession

Camille knew by this time I was taking photos of her. I didn't post any of her wading, but this at least shows her new do she had gotten earlier in the week from her favorite salon, Wax Poetic.

The goils. Look at her big brown eyes! So jealous. I love my friends.

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For the Office Drone in Some of Us

2008-07-17T14:38:00.000-07:00

Care of Timothy McSweeney's literary journal:

OK, IT'S TIME
TO TALK ABOUT
THE ELEPHANT
IN THE ROOM.

BY WENDY MOLYNEUX
- - - -

To: allstaff@ruterperiodicals.com
From: ehandelman@ruterperiodicals.com
Re: The elephant in the room

All,

OK, um, seriously? I thought we were going to have cupcakes for Angela's birthday at 3, but then I get there and someone has clearly put an elephant in the conference room. I am sure whoever did this thinks it's pretty hilarious, but you guys are not the office manager, and you are not the one who is going to have to deal with building services when they find out that there's an elephant inside the office park.

I know you guys all think your little jokes are hilarious. It was funny when you all went into Jeremy's office and moved everything in there six inches to the left just to freak him out. It was sort of funny when you convinced the temp that she had to bow to all the male workers as they passed by her desk. I even got a laugh out of the time Harry pretended to catch his hand in the shredder, even though I was the one who had to explain to the night janitor why there was so much blood everywhere.

But this, this is a bridge too far. Oh sure, I love animals. When Cindy brings her dog Muffin in, I have been known to stop by and play with Muffin for a minute or two. I have said such things as "What a good dog" and "Who's a good doggie?" Remember when we had that bird's nest near the fourth-floor bathrooms? I got just as caught up in waiting for the birds to hatch as the rest of you did. I even bought several squares on that board that Helen Parks made up, gamely paid my $40, and was sincerely happy for Richard Heder when he guessed the correct day and hour for the hatching.

So this isn't a question of me being uptight. This is a question of having a giant elephant in the conference room. It's huge. It stinks. And I think it might have relieved itself on one of the spare laptops. So, please, if you are the person who put the elephant in the conference room, you need to arrange for its immediate removal. We all had a laugh. We all had our fun. And now we need to get on with our workday, because these catalog orders aren't going to process themselves.

Also, not for nothing, but Cindy is an alcoholic and cocaine addict, Jeremy maintains several porn sites from his home, Helen Parks and Richard Heder have been having sex in the office after hours for as long as anyone can remember, Harry is manorexic, the temp has a hunchback, and, yes, yes—I used to be a dude.

All best,

Elizabeth Handelman
Office Manager
Ruter Periodicals

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Get Your Learn On

2008-07-14T13:20:00.001-07:00

Folks, I've added a new section to my blog called Get Your Learn On. Some of the links are current events websites, others are news sources, and others are just interesting sites and videos I've come across or been introduced to. I'll keep adding to the list. I hope you'll explore some of the links, and please feel free to send me links to add if you think I'd be interested.

On a side note, when I took a break from my job hunt today I came across this photo entitled "Where's my other disapproving bunny slipper?" on cuteoverload.com. Some things cute must be embraced!

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The Curtain Went Up & the Curtain Went Down

2008-07-14T11:44:00.001-07:00

My show was this weekend. It was a short run, just the one weekend, but well worth it. Called the Untitled Word Project, it was a showcase of seven short pieces written and directed by members of the Knightsbridge Theatre Company. The performances served as a fundraiser for the theater, so it was a fun and good way to be involved in a charitable activity! Ha ha ha.

For my part, I was in two of the shorts. The seven pieces ranged from comedy to drama and ensemble pieces to one-person show monologues. All were centered around a coming of age theme, but boy were they coming from VERY different places. The audiences on both days were relatively big and they really seemed to enjoy it.

My friend Sarah, being a pilot, was able to jump a flight on standby and come out and watch me on Saturday. Thank you, Sarah! Afterward, we went out to a couple bars to celebrate and had our first LA clubbing experience. It was a blast. Tanya, a friend from the show, joined us and showed us around a bit. She's from West Hollywood and has been here for 10 years. She graciously introduced us to some friends of hers and showed us around her neighborhood. Sarah had her camera that night, so hopefully I'll have some pics for you soon.

Thanks to Matt Vancil, too, for coming out to see me on Sunday. It was the best of the two shows, so you picked a good night. I really appreciate the support.

Here's hoping the next show or acting gig is just around the corner. Cheers!

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So THIS is Acting

2008-07-11T13:34:00.000-07:00

I've been taking an acting class for the past two months. I've had acting classes before. They focused on technique and approach, breaking down the script, and discovering the layers of your character. Sure they covered bringing emotion to your character, but none ever really pushed me to be emotional. As many of you know, I'm not an outwardly emotional person. Like everyone else, I'll put up a bullshit front to cover the sensitive areas in my life, and deal or not deal with my problems/emotions/issues/whatever behind closed doors. This class is pushing me to break down those walls, and I've finally had a break through.

Last night, for the first time ever, I truly acted. It was intense, unsettling, horrible because of the topic I was dealing with, and amazing. To be so open and raw in front of others goes against every grain in my body. I didn't do it well. I fought it the entire time. But it was more than I've ever been able to do before. It was a huge step for me. That said, who knows if in the end I'll even like acting because of this, but I think I can get comfortable with it. Guess I'll just have to wait and see.

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The Subconscious is a Wonderful Thing

2008-07-10T02:16:00.001-07:00

That space between wakefulness and sleep is where things I've lost, forgotten, or confused, somehow come back to me clear as day.....Earlier I posted about a song that was bothering me. While I didn't remember the name, or much more of the verses for that matter, I did remember a key phrase that was correct.

Thus I present to you my song of torture: 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover sung by Paul Simon of Simon & Garfunkel

YouTube Video Links:
With Paul Simon
With the Muppets - a personal fav

Lyrics:
"The problem is all inside your head", she said to me
The answer is easy if you take it logically
I'd like to help you in your struggle to be free
There must be fifty ways to leave your lover

She said it's really not my habit to intrude
Furthermore, I hope my meaning won't be lost or misconstrued
But I'll repeat myself, at the risk of being crude
There must be fifty ways to leave your lover
Fifty ways to leave your lover

You just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free

Ooo slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just listen to me
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free

She said it grieves me so to see you in such pain
I wish there was something I could do to make you smile again
I said I appreciate that and would you please explain
About the fifty ways

She said why don't we both just sleep on it tonight
And I believe in the morning you'll begin to see the light
And then she kissed me and I realized she probably was right
There must be fifty ways to leave your lover
Fifty ways to leave your lover

You just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
just listen to me

Slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just listen to me
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free

Song on the Brain

2008-07-10T00:02:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I've had a song stuck on my brain for over a day now. Check that, not even a whole song, part of a song....with partial lyrics flying through my head....and I don't even know if they're right. So I'm appealing to readers everywhere, "Help me please!"

Help me to identify this song. The one line I have is "Gimme some mack, Jack, something something guns, Hun. bah-da, da, da, da. Bah-da, da, da, da."

See?! It's torture by irritation. The song is sung by a group with a male lead and, I think, female background singers.

Anyone? Anyone?!

Not for the weak of heart, nor mind

2008-07-08T16:29:00.000-07:00

Chessboxing. That's right you heard me. I'll take the chess and even watch the boxing, but I'm not playin'.

www.everydaydifferent.com

Announcing New Blog: POEIN

2008-07-06T16:54:00.000-07:00

I'd like to announce a new blog following my literary and artistic interests. It's called POEIN, from the Greek root word of poetry. All literary and poetry posts from this blog have been moved over to this new blog. As a writer and poet, I hope to use it as a source of inspiration and an outlet for my own creative activities. If you're interested in poetry, I hope you will follow it. And I'll be sure to announce whenever I post original work.

In the meantime, this blog will remain as a way to regularly update my friends and family about my latest L.A. and life adventures. New photos from my recent trip to Seattle for Crystal's birthday and the Fourth of July will be coming soon.

Love you all.
Stephanie Paige
poein.blogspot.com
creativesupernova.blogspot.com
everydaydifferent.com

NEW WEBSITE: everydaydifferent.com

2008-07-03T00:11:00.000-07:00

As of today, July 3rd, Stephanie Paige Barnett has a new professional portfolio website: http://www.everydaydifferent.com/.

Please check it out! I'm super proud of how the site turned out; to toot my own horn, I'm especially proud of how the photography slideshow looks.

Be forewarned, not all of the portfolio document links are working just yet, though they should be up by the week's end. Since I've been mired in it for the past couple of weeks, I am open to suggestions about navigation and ease of use. Also, if the slideshow is slow to load or pics are still too large, do let me know and I'll compress them.

Finally, as I'm still unemployed, please pass this website around to anyone you may know. Thanks, all.

Cheers!

Y Tu Nana Tambien

2008-06-25T09:25:00.000-07:00

Dead Gentlemen Productions does it again. Last week, the group participated in Los Angeles' 48 hour film competition with Dom Zook heading the project as producer. Matt Vancil wrote the script, and Don Early directed. Out of 72 teams, this film is in the top 6 for audience choice. The competition was split up into 6 groups, and DG won the Sci-Fi category. They'll find out next week how they did.

Video Link: Y Tu Nana Tambien

Be forewarned, this film is weird. And contributing to the weirdness are certain requirements specified by contest organizers:

The films had to use at least 3 potatoes in it.
They needed to include a character named Ronald Donnelson, or Rhonda Donnelson. Profession: Game Host.
They had to include the line of dialog: "Leave it to me, I'm a professional".

Portrait of a Broken Heart

2008-06-20T14:01:00.000-07:00

"Me"

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Santa Monica Obviously Has NO Sense of Humor

2008-06-05T01:06:00.000-07:00

No, I didn't do anything stupid. In fact, nothing humorous whatsoever. Okay, to give you a little background...

I joined this acting class based in Santa Monica. It meets every Wednesday. Last Wednesday was the first class. It was my first attempt at acting or even an acting class in over a year. I was expecting fireworks, instead I was a dud. That's right folks, yours truly failed....utterly. It was an enlightening and horrific experience and the only place to go was up. Well...today was up. It was much better, and I felt, to use the cliche, like I was back in the saddle again. Yes, I have LOTS of work to do and it's hard, but I'm on my way. Compared to last week, today's performance was an Emmy winner.

So what does this have to do with a humor-lacking city? Well, every night after class, members go to Ye Olde Kings Head pub also based in Santa Monica. It's a fabulous place with an amiable atmosphere, a great beer selection, good menu, and a table set aside specifically for this class. The manager, John, is good friends with my teacher, Cliff Osmond, and the waitstaff know folks by name. Class ends around 10-10:30, the bar is five minutes away maybe less.

Now, fast forward a couple hours to say midnight or 12:30am. I happened to park at a meter. During the day, it's a one-hour meter. Apparently, in Santa Monica the day lasts until 2am. So now, my $15 tab has expanded into a $50 evening because of a $35 ticket. That's right folks, $35! It's certainly no way to celebrate my small accomplishment. I would have rather spent the money on gas or shoes or rent or clothes or music or beer. Parking tickets weren't really on my list of things I wanted to pay for this month. Oh well.

Anyway, THANK YOU SANTA MONICA! Just another reminder to assume nothing in life and stay no longer than the sign on the meter says.

One Month

2008-06-04T09:58:00.000-07:00

It has officially been one month since I arrived in Los Angeles. The job hunt, the acting hunt still continues. I thought I would use this post to go back and show you my trip from a month ago, and a few photos of my new neighborhood.

Day 1: Vancouver, WA (I don't have any photos from this day. Just made a point of getting on the road and then spent the evening with my dad. It was great, and I wish I had taken a photo of us.)

Day 2: Monmouth, OR (South of Salem by 20 minutes, I stopped in to see my friend Sam. This is his daughter Lily)

Newport, Oregon (There are two little blips on the huge boulder in the middle. It's a couple people walking down on the rocks.)

Oregon Dunes Recreational Park (Oregon has the largest expanse of coastal sand dunes in the U.S. The highway snuggles up to the edge of the dunes. While they have forest growing on part of them, they're still very sandy.)

Port Orsford, OR

Love the Name!

Cool Rocks (This was still in Oregon. I tried to catch the sunset, but a high fog rolled in and blocked anything decent. It ended up being a grayish, hazy evening.)

Day 3: Crescent City, CA (Beginning to see change in the coast from sandy to rocky beaches.)

Redwood National Forest (This is the Giant Tree, the tree with the largest identified girth. This part of the forest is old growth and has never been forested.)

Highway 1 (This is the first, northernmost view of the California coastline from Hwy 1. The speed limit is around 50-55, but the road winds so much you're usually going 20-25 mph. It took me nine hours from this location to get to a B&B 45 minutes north of San Francisco. On highways I-5 or 101, the drive would be 3-4 hours.)

Coastal flower (Just thought it was a cool pic.)

Road trips alone are fun, but not as fun as with company. This was just a stretch break.

Sandbar Seals

Is it Wisconsin? (Hwy 1 cuts inland as it approaches San Francisco. The area is full of cattle ranches and dairy farms. I tried to make it back to the coast by sunset, but was too far away. It was a beautiful evening. This area is very green.)

Tikis in my B&B room. (The Redwood Haus is a fantastic little B&B in Stinson Beach, CA. It's kitsche and quaint with shared bathrooms, good food, and unbelievable prices. I recommend it highly.)

Day 4: Sunrise on the Coast (A verifiable jungle.)

I don't have any other photos from Day 4. It was a Saturday morning and I was trying to make it down to Los Angeles to celebrate my friend Don's 30th birthday. It was a long but swift drive. Here are a couple photos from my place:

Community Garden on My Corner (Plots are opening up this October, I'm hoping to get one so I can grow my own vegetables and fresh flowers.)

Awesome Flowering Trees (My building is the gray thing behind the tree. It has a small pool and is stylish circa 1950. Not so stylish anymore. Affordable, though. Very affordable.)

Well, there you have it. Hope you enjoyed the trip. May this second month and upcoming summer be as fruitful as the first.

There Have Been Better, There Have Been Worse....

2008-06-03T14:52:00.000-07:00

Days, weeks, birthdays. I hit a landmark yesterday, one that I am still not ready to face even though it's come and gone. I don't know what it is about numbers, but this one has really gotten to me. And the thing is, I'm looking forward to what's next in life, I just have a mental roadblock about this birthday. So the day has passed as has the celebration. It wasn't spectacular, exciting, filled with parties, or anything else that comes with life's big ones. But it was laidback, reasonably pleasant, and shared with one of my bestfriends in the world, Sarah. She flew into town to save me from myself. (The other option was spending it all alone in this big, lonesome party town, and I think that would have been the worst birthday ever.)

It's not the best time in either of our lives right now, even with all the good changes happening, so it was nice that we were there to support one another and have fun at the same time. The two of us decided to escape Los Angeles for the weekend and head for wine country. We hit Solvang and a mission near Lompoc on Saturday and Pismo Beach and San Luis Obispo on Sunday and Monday morning. Here are some pictures from the trip, they're more interesting than my stories:

Famous Pea Soup Anderson's in Buellton, CA

La Purisma Mission

La Purisma Mission Animals (There were the weirdest little ground squirrel animals that lived in burrows. They acted more like ground hogs standing above their homes and wouldn't move for ages while we stared them down. What are these things?)

Solvang (Best Danish pancakes and pastries for miles and miles.)

Wine Tasting (This was at the Wildwood tasting room in Arroye Grand Village. We were asked if we were sisters at every winery, but one.)

Pismo Beach

Pismo Beach Sand Castle (The builders made it functional with walk through hallways.)

Birthday Morning Wine Tasting at Kelsey Vineyards (Our favorite!)

One of Kelsey's 60-plus Peacocks (This guy was courting a couple of very uninterested females.)

The night of my birthday, which lamely landed on a Monday, Sarah and I found a local tavern near my place. Champs is a sports bar with great pub grub, decent microbrews on tap, pool, darts, shuffleboard, and whatever sporting match you want to watch. We happened to see the Penguins and Red Wings in the Stanley Cup finals. Great game. It went into triple overtime with the Penguins scoring the winning goal (much to Sarah's delight) extending the finals for at least one more game (best out of seven). Camille, my best friend in L.A. who was on her own trip this weekend, joined Sarah and I over a couple pitchers of Blue Moon Belgian White and onion rings. Yummy.

While it was nothing extraordinary, my birthday turned out to be pretty great because I had friends to share it with me. I could ask for nothing more. Thanks guys.

AND when I returned from the weekend, I had some pretty awesome good tidings waiting for me. Thanks to all of you for your warm wishes, cards, emails, and gifts. It's helped me to miss home and the important people in my life a little less.

No Champs Pic With Camille, So One More of Sarah and I

PS - If any one of you dares mention the number in your comments, I will take it down. Thanks!

On Parallel Universes...

2008-06-02T10:26:00.000-07:00

Parallel universes, like god, are something one hopes for when the world disappoints.

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Bea Arthur - A Living Legend

2008-05-23T11:59:00.000-07:00

Bea Arthur, one of America's infamous Golden Girls, has had a long and prosperous career both on stage and on camera. From Broadway theater to the Hollywood sound stages, she has established not only a prolific career as a musical and comedic actor but a reputation as one of stardom's all-time funny ladies. Ms. Arthur just celebrated her 86th birthday, and she continues to share her humor with all of us. In recent years, she performed her own one-woman show, appeared on Pamela Anderson's roast, was a curmudgeonly babysitter to Malcom in the Middle, and played Larry David's mother in Curb your Enthusiasm.

In honor of Ms. Arthur, here are some archive interviews and photos and a couple parody sketches performed by her and her Golden Girls:

Clueless - Golden Girls

Sex and the City - Bea Arthur

Bea Arthur - TV Oral History Interview

A Tribute to Bea Arthur

Charmed, I'm Sure

2008-05-20T21:59:00.000-07:00

How long will the luck hold out? It's been a little over two weeks since arriving in Los Angeles. I found a decent place to live in a good community near my friends. I'm already enrolled in an acting class. I've met several people in "the biz" or who are trying to be and am building a network. And as of this weekend....I'm in a play! It's a small, small part but it's a start. I can't wait! How long can this go on? Hopefully, until I find that perfect job that will accommodate an acting career. Ha! Right. But really, here's hoping. Keep your fingers crossed.

Eight Wheels Down, Cruising Altitude About Six Feet

2008-05-20T21:57:00.000-07:00

At 5'9" rollerskates make me feel like a giant, but yay how the mighty do fall. Rollerskating is a sport that should be reserved for youth, the short, masochists, speed demons, and derby dames with a bone to pick. It's not for the tall, the lanky, the klutzes, even the overly flexible. Yet, time and time again. When a group of friends says, "Let's go have some fun!" "Doing what?" you say. "Rollerskating!" The nostalgia of childhood, 12th birthday parties, holding hands for the first time, or falling into a heap with your best friend comes flooding back. "Okay!"

The roller rink of 2008 hasn't changed much from the roller rink of 1987. It's usually in a bad part of town. In this case, it wasn't good to be hanging out at night, and any bandanas worn needed to be fashioned in Rosie the Riveter style or else be blue. The smell of sweat soaked leather skates and body must hits you as you pay for your ticket. The carpets are patterned not only with circles or swirls, but sodapop and ketchup stains and gum spot dots blackened with wear. Video games are tucked away in some corner, and if it weren't for the fact that there is a dimly lit rink with 70s style disco lights just beyond the lockers, you would think it was a bowling alley.

A particular roller rink in Central Los Angeles near La Brea hosts a monthly skating event for people of all ages. The hours, however, 9pm to 1am, usually lead only nostalgic adults and able-bodied skaters to the whirling dervish madness of carpeted walls and a shiny wooden floor. Wumpskate, as this event is known, raises money for local charities and provides a cool community service. And while each month is themed so that different costumes are sported each month, the skaters haven't changed much since 1987 either.

There is the speed demon who laps you at least four times before you complete one turn on the rink. The figure skater dances past forward and backward with flashy footwork that somehow tricks you into believing later (once you've gained enough confidence) that you could do that, too. There is the show-off, some man or woman who will squat down on one skate with the other stretched out in front of them. Up and down, up and down, they go all night, a figure of athleticism and probably yoga. There are the folks who are just good skaters. They enjoy hanging out with friends. Sometimes, one will skate backwards so they can better talk to the other. These people also seem to have a style and confidence that other people don't have. It's an ease and grace that average skaters wish they had. It's the ability to talk to others at the same time as you skate. Inevitably, there's always the beginner. Some poor schlub who has been dragged out by an evil friend or well-intended loved one. These are the people who are all over the floor. Usually they stick to the walls, but once in a while they gain enough confidence to venture out toward the middle of skate traffic ending up in heaps that all must dodge. These are tricky skaters because it's never known how they're going to fall. When they go down, casualties often go with them. For the average skater, these skaters are a blessing and a bane. On the one hand, you're happy you're not as bad as they are. On the other, if they stumble in your path it's likely you're going down too because you don't quite know how to stop yet.

Now, imagine all of these skaters of all ages dressed in say goth attire....and punk....and 80s whatever. This is Wumpskate. It's home to $1 tacos and water, a $6 entrance fee that covers the skate rental, and a peaceful meeting ground for people who might usually culture clash to embrace both rollerskating and ridiculous dress while coasting to compelling music mixes. The Super Mario Brothers Nintendo theme song over Nine in Nails was a personal fav.

This writer gives Wumpskate two thumbs up and eight wheels down. A month is just enough time to let those knees heal before June's skate. Roll on, my friends, roll on.

Things I've Learned About LA....so far.

2008-05-20T21:39:00.000-07:00

1. Don't leave deodorant, lipstick, eye pencils, chapstick, chocolate, or other gelatinous based or potentially meltable products in your car.

2. It doesn't matter if you cut in front of someone while driving because everyone does it.

3. Turn signals are only a car accessory.

4. Turn arrows at lights are rare. When turning left, 2-3 cars are allowed to turn once the light is red.

5. There's no such thing as traffic, because there's traffic 24-7.

6. A person can make a living dumpster diving for cans and plastic drinking bottles as proved by the guy outside my window each Saturday morning around 4 a.m.

7. The area code of your phone number MATTERS. 310 is the best, then 323, then whatever. If you don't have either of those, you're screwed.

8. Your home neighborhood also matters to potential employers. People from the Valley are apparently considered slightly neurotic.

9. Every night is a night to go out and play. Lines, lines everywhere every day of the week.

10. It's hot. REALLY hot.

Robin Hobb, Fantasy Writer, Talks Up "The Gamers: Dorkness Rising"

2008-05-16T19:34:00.000-07:00

As many of you know, I was the publicist for The Gamers: Dorkness Rising an upcoming feature film that will be released in soon-to-be-announced video stores nationwide.

Robin Hobb, a globally recognized fantasy writer based in Tacoma, had a recent opportunity to see the final cut of the film. Pleased with what she saw, she kindly talks it up in her latest blog entry. You can check that out here: Robin Hobb on GDR

Please pass the word around that The Gamers: Dorkness Rising will be released soon. I'll post details as soon as I have them.

A New Beginning

2008-05-12T00:03:00.000-07:00

After much hesitation, consultation, anticipation, and some remorse, here it is, my blog. What the heck do you write in these things? I guess I'll figure it out, and suppose it will provide you, my friends, with some insight to my thoughts and life.

While this is the first official post, keep checking back because it's pretty lame. Lame and late and I have no idea what to say or where to begin....Los Angeles is huge, overwhelming, surprisingly friendly, and fun to get lost in. Every neighborhood seems to be its own city, and being spring, every plant is green or in bloom, lavishing the city with bright and beautiful colors and sweet smells. The cool breeze carries away the pollution, probably to other cities and places around the country, and people are in prime form, relaxed and cheerful. It's a good time to be in the city. A great time to explore on foot. I'm looking forward to this new adventure. It's my time, and the time is right.